Hilarious New Year Quotes

How can it be a Happy New Year when I am still passed out with last year’s hangover?

The biggest Monday of the year is New Year’s Day- on all other Mondays you have only a week to muddle through- after New Year’s Day, you have to muddle through another whole year!

The sentiment for a new year has to be changed. Wishing someone a happy new year is an oxymoron. It might be a new year but how can it be happy when it is one year closer in your own personal countdown to the ball dropping.

The only one who is truly happy on New Year’s Day is the IRS.

Yeah! It’s New Year’s Day- only 31 more beer shopping days to the real celebration of the new year: Super Bowl Sunday!

You do not need to share your New Year’s resolution with anyone but your best friend. She will make sure everyone else knows what it is, especially if you screw it up.

Because practice makes perfect and I didn’t get it right last year, the year before, the before that or the year before that, it must mean I will reach perfection for not getting it right in this new year.

I made a New Year’s resolution last year and this New Year’s I make a resolution to keep it!

The pact for what happens on New Year’s Eve stays on New Year’s Eve holds true until your friends wake up and start posting on Facebook.

I have never heard anyone make a New Year’s resolution to eat more junk food, exercise less, or gain weight, but because most resolutions are broken these are the kind we should make so when we break them we will actually be doing something good for ourselves!